Dating as a single mother can be hard (as I have previously mentioned- HaHa). But have you ever considered Long Distance Dating? Is it possible for single mums to even attempt to have a Romantic relationship with someone who lives miles away from you? Do Long-distance relationships work… Realistically? This post will give you some insight into If and How Long-distance relationships could be an option for you- So please, keep an open mind.
Why Would You Even Consider A Long Distance Relationship?
If you are on the dating scene, I imagine you have been using the dating apps… or at least one dating app… right? I mean there are so many now, Tinder, POF, Bumble just to name a few. If not, please let us know in the comments what you are doing instead… we would love to know!
Online dating can be an absolute minefield right now. You have so many options, so many frogs to wade through (and avoid kissing most of them). Somehow Online dating opens up this whole world of people who you have never met before (most you hope you never will!), who are supposedly right on your doorstep, yet you still struggle to find the one.
We often think that the only way to date is to date someone who is right on our doorstep… I always thought this too. But If you are struggling to find a person in your immediate area that you can click with, maybe it is time to start thinking a little out of the box… or the Postcode! And give a long distance relationship a go.
Broadening your Horizon
What I have encountered in my dating experience in several towns that I have lived in, is whilst everyone is different for sure, there seems to be a theme, for lack of a better way to put it. When I go on multiple dates, I seem to come across a lot of people who will have similar outlooks, similar ambitions and similar life experience to each other. These people have all grown up in the same town, therefor they have very much the outlook on life and where they are headed.
Yes, I am looking to settle down and create a partnership with the right person. But that does not mean I am looking to settle-down and sit on the sofa watching TV for the rest of my life. Now this could just be me… I have been a single mum for the whole of my adult life, so I am looking to start living for myself in the next few years. I want to travel, explore, build my business, broaden my social life. Whilst I like to date my age or a little older, a lot of men I come across in this town are ready for their pipe and slippers (I’m 36)!
I need some excitement in my life
As someone who is all about self-development and keeping things moving, this can become very mundane and really doesn’t excite me very much!
I am still looking for new experiences, whilst a lot of men my age in these small towns have either had their share of fun and freedom, or they just have no desire to… their parents were born, raised and lived here and that is how they envision their life. They can’t think outside the little bubble that is their home town.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not judging people for that, if your happy and living your best life then that’s amazing, but that isn’t me, and I am guessing it isn’t a lot of you either.
Online dating drives me wild most of the time, I wont lie. But one good thing about it is, you can broaden your search with long distance dating. You don’t have to date in your little town.
You don’t even have to date in your own country anymore. There are so many ways now to meet people completely out of your little 20 mile radius. And the people you meet can give you a whole new perspective on life and love.
Exciting Conversations
Someone who has grown up and lived in the U.S, or Italy, or Australia is likely to have a very different outlook and perspective on life than someone who grew up in a sleepy town in Lincolnshire.
They are going to have different hobbies, different likes and dislikes. Eat different food and go to different and interesting places. The conversations are likely to be broader and far more enticing than ‘what’s your favourite colour?” and “How many siblings do you have?” Don’t get me wrong, those conversations may well come up but there will be so many others!
Some of the best conversations I have had are with the people I have met completely out of my way! I am sure maybe the women in their town may find them boring and would maybe love to chat with Steve from Lincoln who drives a lorry and who’s idea of excitement is getting wasted down the pub every Friday night then stumbling to the kebab shop on the way home before plonking himself down to watch the footie! You never know!
the point is, if you want to live a rich and varied life, you need to look further afield than your postcode!
It’s not About The Sex
The other issue I have come across is that trying to form a serious relationship with someone these days is hard. It’s often just all about the sex. the sex comes first and if your compatible in that area, maybe you will see where it goes after that!
Don’t get me wrong, I do think that physical attraction and intimacy in a relationship is very important. I mean that’s what separates a romantic relationship from a friendship I guess.
But… with long distance relationships, especially those that start online, you have the chance to get to know a person on a deeper level before complicating things with sex. You get to know the little things about a person that will either make you fall head over heals for them or that will irritate you to the point that you can’t stand the person.
Getting into deeper and more meaningful conversations can allow you to really form an emotional connection with someone. Lets face it most of us have made poor decisions and have had our heads clouded by that Amazing, earth shattering Sex and only later realised that the person we are dating was actually a terrible, walking, talking, Red Flag!
And that is the other thing. You give yourself time to spot those red flags before it’s too late (Not always, but mostly!). Check out This Post on The Red Flags You Should Never Ignore!
Single Mum Dating Is Hard
As a single mum it can be hard to find the free time to date. Not only do you need to carve out the time from your busy work/ life schedule, there is the getting ready. Getting all dolled up and feeling like a goddess is great, until you realise you wasted your time and some perfectly good childcare just to sit across from an absolute moron!
How Do You Make A Long Distance Relationship Work?
I would be lying if I said that a long distance relationship is easy. But… is any successful relationship a walk in the park all the time? People all around the world are navigating long-distance relationships as I type.
And for varying reasons. Some husbands/ wives travel half the year for work. Some people met the love of their life when on holiday in a far off land and have decided to give it a go. And as I said, some people find their soul mates online. With the right outlook and determination, it is possible to have a loving and healthy long distance relationship!
Time Zones and Time restrictions can make it difficult, but with some careful planning, you can easily schedule in and make time for your long distance partner. I would say that is the most important thing with long distance dating… is making time. Make sure the other person knows that you are thinking of them and want to spend time with them, even if it is just phone calls and text messages. It still means a lot!
Long Distance Dating Is Not The End Of Date Nights:
There are so many ways you can still enjoy dates when you are long distance dating. And they can be just as fun:
- Set up your candlelit dinners on each end and have your phone or laptop propped up whilst you are on video call with them. Yes it isn’t the same as real like, but it’s still kinda romantic.
- Video call whilst watching the same movie together.
- Play online games together.
- And if you have gotten to the point of intimacy with this partner, there are toys that you can each control from your phone, so if you are open minded enough, you can still get in some of that good sexy time 🙂
Long Distance Dating: Conclusion
Single parenthood is hard. Dating is hard. Long distance relationships are hard. But if you find someone in a far off land who you feel is the right person for you to pursue a Long term relationship with, It could work.
It may take a little bit of extra effort. It will definitely take some open and honest communication. And it will almost certainly require patience and understanding. But the result could be the beautiful, romantic and most rewarding Relationship you will ever have.
LET US KNOW IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU HAVE EVER TRIED LONG DISTANCE DATING OR HAD A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, AND HOW DID IT GO? DID YOU MAKE IT WORK?