If you are looking for ways of healing your broken heart, you are in the right place! The torturous pain of Heartbreak can be a bitch right? I am guessing as you are here you know what I mean when I say this… Heartbreak sucks! Yet, it is the right of passage for everyone. It is a universal experience! I can’t imagine there is a single man nor woman in this world who leaves it without having at least one heart break. But as single mums, healing a broken heart may not be as easy as it is for others. Aftre all, the usual advice may be difficult to implement.
Advice such as get back out there… Get out the house and spend time getting to know yourself again… Go and have fun… these are all great suggestions, and I do suggest you still do some of these, but when you are nurturing a broken heart with a child glued to the hip, it isn’t always practical, so we need to concentrate on the basics of healing a broken heart.
Different Types Of Heart Break
Heartbreak can come in many forms, it isn’t always due to the breakdown of a long-term relationship, or even a romantic relationship for that matter! Some of us go through many a heartbreak, some of us maybe only the 1 or 2, but either way, we all suffer at some point. And as this is a blog for single parents, I will assume you have had at least one…
Suffering from a broken heart can be the result of many life changes and circumstances, but yes the main focus is usually on romantic relationships ending.
But that is not always the case.
Although the end of a relationship is usually the main fucus when taking about a broken heart, all the things that we form emotional connections to can cause us to feel the emotional pain of heartbreak. Some other situations that may cause you to need to nurture your heart back to health can be from…
- Losing a loved one… Grief is a whole other subject really, but it still comes under heartbreak. My heart shattered into a million pieces after my Dad passed and although I feel that there are other specific ways of dealing with grief, some of the heartbreak strategies will help you to heal through the stages of grief too.
- Ending of a friendship… I know I have had fall-outs with friends that have broken my heart just as much, if not more, than those of romantic relationships. Friendships can be such a special bond and you put a lot of trust and effort into friends, so when it ends it can feel like your world has fallen apart.
- Falling out with family… Family is some of the earliest bonds in our life. They are generally the people we have known for the longest time, but that doesn’t mean we always get along. There are times when you have to cut off a family member, or maybe one cuts you off. This can be devastating.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of ways to have your heartbroken.
Just look at the dating world these days, you can be in all kinds of weird and wonderful situations in which you can find yourself hurt and having to deal with and heal emotional trauma.
Situationships… Friends with benefits… ghosting…
The list really is endless, but here at Single Mum Unhinged I do not discriminate… if your hurt, your hurt, and I’m here to help you through it!
So how do we start to Lovingly heal through these most painful experiences of our lives?
My most recent heartbreak which I will go into detail on in another post, took me so far down into the deepest depths of emotional pain, that I really didn’t think I would make it through…
And do you know what?
It was a short, long distance, undefined relationship…
Why did I feel so awful then?
Feel To Heal
It really does not matter (as stated above) if you are dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, or the ending of an undefined non- romantic situation, if you are hurt, you have every right to feel that way.
So feel it.
Feel every single feeling that comes up and sit with it. This step could take a few hours, or a few days, but do not let it drag on too long.
Feel all those feelings, Cry, scream, shout. Do what you need to do to feel them with no judgment.
Do not judge or berate yourself, it is normal to feel this way.
One thing I find useful in this stage is to write down everything you feel.
Journaling is fantastic for our mental health. And writing all your negative thoughts, all your feelings of sadness and anger down, getting them on paper really helps in this stage as it can de-clutter your brain a little. It helps you to organise your thoughts and feeling and helps you to make some sense of them. You may then even be able to see why this is hurting you so much, and what you need to work on before moving on or entering into a new relationship.
Meditation practices also work really well at this point too. Just sitting in silence with yourself or listening to a guided meditation can really help you to gather your emotions and feelings and re-centre yourself. It can lower your stress levels and really bring you back into the present moment instead of reliving the past events that are likely running through your mind.
You can find my list of the 5 best Guided meditations to heal a broken heart HERE!
Cut Contact
This step is particularly tricky if you are still having to co-parent with the person who hurt you. More on that HERE!
But in general, whilst on your very intense journey to healing your broken heart, the No Contact rule is the way to go! Harsh as it sounds, but If the relationship is over then you have absolutely no need to follow them on social media, speak to them or check up on them…
Do you really need to know what they are up to? If they have moved on? If they are eating well?
Nope… Nope… And Nope!!!
You really do not need any reminders of them if you want to truly move on.
Some people do not agree with this step, but I feel if you are heartbroken and you are hoping they will come back or reach out, when actually that is unlikely or will put you back in a toxic situation then Cut them off!!!
This stage is all part of detaching. You have to detach from that person or that situation if you wish to fully move and not only survive through the heartbreak, but thrive!
And that is our aim here at Single Mum Unhinged, we don’t just fumble through dating and heartbreak, we thrive!
Love Yourself First
As single parents, we obviously love our children more than ourselves, but during times like this, we need to love ourselves a little more first!
During heartbreak, we go through such a range of emotions and difficult feelings. This often leaves us feeling worthless and un-loveable.
This is the time to realise your own worth and love yourself!
Yes, you may feel that no man or woman will ever love you…
You may feel worthless… un-loveable… disgusting… gross… fat…
But they are not true!
You are amazing… loveable…worthy and gorgeous!
I don’t care what your head or your heart is trying to tell you, it is wrong!
Pour some of that love that you pour into your children and other people, into yourself.
At the end of the day, we owe it to ourselves and our children to be the very best and most healed version of ourselves. We must learn to practice self-compassion and self-love!
As single parents, there is often no one looking out for us, no one checking on us, so it is imperative that we take care of our own needs, even more so when we are going through a hard time!
- Make sure you eat and drink healthily
- Take yourself on little solo- dates (I have a post about that here!)
- get fresh air and exercise, it is so important to take care of our physical health alongside our mental health!
- Beautify yourself- Spend some time on yourself, you are worth it!
- Treat yourself to some flowers- fresh flowers always cheer me up!
- Spend time with your best friend or a close family member to remind yourself you are loved.
- Journal
- Meditate
- Plan for your future- I am sure there are so many new experiences, new hobbies and new people that you are yet to encounter! And although it may not feel like it, you will have future relationships. So Get planning for your future and get excited again!
See… There are endless ways you can start pouring some love back into your own cup whilst healing your broken heart!
So get out there and start living and loving you!
However, if you find that you really are struggling for too long to get yourself out of the depression that heartbreak can leave us in, then please, please, please seek professional help!
Let us know in the comments if this post helped you in healing your broken heart, or if you have any other great ways to take yourself from hurt to healed.